Not everything in life is simple. Red Smed, however, is. And to prove it this blog has been set up to take you deep into his deranged socialist utopia where Lenin was quite a nice bloke, , Bridgwater has been renamed Parretgrad , every home has to display a portrait of Jake Thackray and Leeds United are at the top of the premier league.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Yet again PARTISAN SONG tops Red Smed Christmas Playlist

It remains absolutely no surprise that for the 6th year running, in fact that's every year since it was released, the PARTISAN SONG has topped the Red Smed  'You Tube' playlist, now reaching an unassailable 323,867 plays, which is more than Gary Barlow put together.

Red Smed explains. "I keep saying , it's because people think they've found the Red Army choir version. "

This certainly explains the next song on the list too. 'Katyusha' is also big with communists scouring the net for songs with a big anti fascist history so it must be an extra special pleasure when they accidentally stumble across Red Smed playing it in the style of Hank Marvin.

Red Smed continued "It probably isn't 'that' welcome a surprise. Theyre probably angry as fuck."

However, with 5,739 plays it's a long way behind the dizzy heights of the Partisan Song. But, oddly not so far behind 'Leon Trotsky', currently on 4,118. Finally a self penned song ! So to what does Red Smed attribute this?

"Well, people probably trying to find a website about Leon Trotsky is my guess" He hazards a guess.

But how could this be the case with the next song on the list, the celebrated  1980 Dangerous Brothers hit "Secret Seven" . Actually, by this stage it was pointless asking as it was all becoming pretty obvious...... the full list...which...if you want to influence the running can click on and listen to.....

Partisan songRed SmedTrad323,867
KatyushaRed SmedTrad5,739
Leon TrotskyRed SmedSmedley4,118
Secret SevenDangerous BrothersSmedley1,762
Route 666Club WhoopeeTrad1,177
BridgwaterRed SmedSmedley1,015
Me and My CloneRed SmedSmedley/Newman929
Fat Bald DaveRed SmedSmedley683
Drop Dead DarlingRed SmedSmedley/Kane586
I'm Too Fat to RockRed SmedSmedley/Newman570
Ello Ello ElloDangerous BrothersSmedley/Newton534
County CouncillorDangerous BrothersSmedley505
Bohemia SektThe VisitorsBartlett423
Buddy can you spare a DimeClub WhoopeeTrad375
False NoseDangerous BrothersSmedley356
Party at BriansRed SmedSmedley/Beasley/Fraser/Bruce353
The InternationaleRed Smedtrad300
Swedish Language yeh yeh yehRed SmedSmedley292
Rock n Roll LizardClub WhoopeeSmedley/Newman276
Do the Washing upRed SmedSmedley280
When Teddy’s GoneThe SpannersSmedley/Vernon268
The Magnificent SeveralRed SmedTrad262
Don’t be so bloody MiserableRed SmedSmedley253
Rock n Roll is Pretty ExcitingRed SmedSmedley/Beasley/Fraser/Bruce230
GreedThe SedgemoronsSmedley212
We’re all going ShoppingRed SmedSmedley/Kane173
MultifreightRed SmedSmedley159
I Need a GirlfriendThe SedgemoronsSmedley/Beasley 155
Stogumber Cajun GumboRed SmedSmedley119
Bonny Van DriverRed SmedSmedley107

Sunday, 13 April 2014

THE SEDGEMORONS- Who,What and Why.......

Back in 1984 the Sheep Worrying organisation had run up a £1,000 debt trying to keep it's alternative listings magazine going. To save the project the editorial team formed a band. The idea was to do cabaret songs for money and give all the money to Sheep Worrying to pay off the debt and thereby keep the magazine going.

The Sedgemorons played a few cabaret gigs , quickly got bored of that and then started writing their own songs sending up bands that were playing cabaret gigs - especially themselves, brought out an album "We're Bonkers" (September 84) and a single "Drop Dead Darling"b/w "I Need a Girlfriend" (april 85) and while they were at it wrote a stage musical "Rock n Roll is Pretty Exciting".

The premise of the Musical was that Rockin Brian, an intensely tedious brummie car park attendant (Brian Smedley) was going to have his car park re-developed into a 'disco' and so needed, in true Cliff Richard fashion, to get 'the kids' led by the sickly sweet and naively hopeless Bobbie Bland (Lianne Bruce)  on board to help him save it. In true Yul Brynner style they rounded up a possee of gunmen to help them save the car park. Ghenghiz 2-Stroke (Stuart Croskell) a pretentiously abstract poet with a  penchant for Johnny Cash songs, Bing Beasley (Gareth Beasley) an over exuberantly anarchic nutjob and Betty Bonkers (Anne Dixey) a rebellious feminist housewife .

The single -Drop Dead Darling (Kane/Smedley) was backed up by 'I
Need A Girlfriend'(Beasley/Smedley) and featured Bing on lead vocals and improvised scat singing with Bobbie and Betty on backing vocals, Ghenghiz on bass and Smed on twangy lead guitar.
Also featured were Nervo on drums and Barry 'Bazza' Thompson on whistled intro and outro and sax solo.

The record was played on John Peel and reviewed in Sounds by punk poet Seething Wells and the band went on to tour extensively before knocking it firmly on the head in January 1986.

A freshly unearthed video forms the backing for the remastered (not really) song and is taken from a BBC2 documentary about the Bridgwater Arts Centre which featured the Morons rehearsing in an upstairs room.

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

"UKIP are a Bit Daft" : Red Smed the man not afraid to tell it like it is

It might just be the prospect of celebrity right winger Jim Davidson winning Celebrity Big Brother that makes me think the whole countries going to hell in a reactionary handcart, but why is this happening, why do more people vote for un-reality shows than in a general election, why do people vote for UKIP, a party with no policies just knee jerk midnight internet chatroom ranting and most importantly why aren't Hope Not Hate outside the Big Brother House with their placards instead of picking on some Hungarian Nazi whose got every right to stand on the streets of Britain  spouting bigotry. How else is he going to blend in!!

So it's high time for an in depth look at whether UKIP are a decent normal party contributing democratically to the ongoing debate on Britain today, or if in fact they're a bunch of nutters. Research over, they're clearly all bonkers.


UKIP had a candidate in the last election (yes, here in Somerset) who was filmed apparently doing a Nazi salute. His defence was  that he was impersonating a pot plant. So that's alright then.

One UKIP Councillor thought that MPs voting for same sex marriage has caused the floods. Presumably God has now smote down with a mighty wave the Moorland gay communes engaging in their debauched green wellied multitudes. Oddly, in their own heartland...we have 2 out of 6 UKIP MEPS in the South West and 3 UKIP County councillors in Somerset. Presumably God doesn't have his sat nav set to 'Gay Finder General' at the moment.

But no sooner has Farage suspended one UKIP foot in mouth job than another appears. So now its UKIP financial backer Demetri Marchessini buying an advert in the Telegraph to tell people that Homosexuality is an 'abomination' and there are '12 mentions in the Bible to prove this'. This is the same 'expert in gender politics' that a year back advocated giving unwed mothers 'a good slap' and that date rape allegations 'cannot be taken seriously'. At least they've got their best men on the job.

Digging up King Dick

Which brings us to Godfrey Bloom another 'voice of UKIP, now suspended'. Bit's of Africa he can't bring himself to identify are called 'Bongo Bongo' land, women he can't find a place for in his hierarchy of morality are called 'sluts' and a journalist who points out racial inequality in UKIP publicity material is called 'racist' and then physically hit with the UKIP manifesto. You'd have thought at least Godfrey would shut up. But no, now he's guest speaker at a Oxford Union debate ( and likening a disabled student to Richard III. Fortunately, his victim David Browne turned the tables on his taunter by saying "he was flattered by personal attacks from his opponents as it just demonstrates they have run out of arguments."


Which is of course the whole point of this. UKIP don't have any arguments, any policies or any points to make. They just have votes. They have nutters. Yes. So they have votes for Nutters. That should be their campaign slogan. But people vote for them. Not for their policies - they don't know what they are. "DO something about immigration". They don't vote for their candidates. They're nutters. But they get millions of votes. Basically they're the angry, bitter, midnight chatroom crusaders who finally have a voice. It's not a sensible voice and like the level of their arguments in the chatrooms of smalltown papers all over the land, they fit whatever they're thinking it might be all about into their own version of reality. It's a kind of engaging with the democratic process of long as you include wrapping a turd up in newspaper and posting it to someone you don't like in that.

One day to go....HOPE NOT HATE, get your act together and stop Jim Davidson winning Celebrity Big Brother...this could be a Cable Street moment!!!

If Trotsky was alive today we know exactly what he'd be saying (apart from 'oww my fucking head!!) it'd be UNITED FRONT NOW.