Many years ago, when the earth was young and the Czech Republic hadn't even been invented, we sent a jolly band of musicians off to discover the former Czechoslovakia. Which of course was at that time, the current Czechoslovakia. Which of course is now the Czech Republic. And Wales. 10 people went out, only 8 returned. 2 are still there. Good. But that was then. This is now. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Unless you're reading this on a Wednesday in which case, well work it out for yourself.
Brian 'Red Smed' Smedley explains to a TV crew why he WILL
take a band to the Czech republic and nothing they say will stop him
We scraped together a pop group. In much the same way Cliff Richard might have done.
Then we learnt some songs.
Then we got ourselves a bus.
Then we drove it across Europe having wacky adventures on the way.
Who can forget the teacake incident in Frankfurt, the 'oh no it's a canal' incident in Amsterdam and of course the running down an old lady in Liege court case.
Yes 2 of our members never came back. One married a Czech policewoman and the other's a certified nutjob.
So now it's 2018 (checks watch) . Yes! And we're doing it again. We're off to see the wizard. Well, we're following the yellow brick road. Or the Autobahn 4 to Koln then A3 to Nurnburg then diverting slightly off towards Rozvadov and all points Czech. So we needed a band.
A Summer Holiday tribute wouldn't be worth it's weight in haddock if it didn't include lapsed catholic and lapsed communist Red Smed. The only surviving member from the original tour. Smed was a particularly hard task master and had them all shot. Red Smed has been described as 'a bit on the fat side', 'should learn to play the guitar a bit better' and 'speaks Czech like a Bulgarian'. On lead guitar ladies and gentleman its the Fat Bopper himself.
Click here to see why Red Smed is 'Too Fat to Rock'
A Bit Bonkers
|Yvette, has music written all through her|
Drummer Ted 'Ted' Franklin has played in every band in the wider Wiveliscombe area including many that have yet to be formed and several that were arrested after the first chorus. Ted's drum style has been described as 'a bit drummy'. As has his haircut. People will remember top British acts such as the Beatles, the Stones, the Who and Uncle Freds Lucky Tandem. Ted remembers them too.
|Dave, a milkman|
Martin Lauer is a Czech session bassist who has never met any of the above in his life but having recently returned from studying sand in Indonesia he found he had nothing left to live for. Tossing a coin one day he opted for giving music one more chance. A good choice as the second option, sticking a Kalashnikov in his mouth, would have probably not looked great at the local Job centre.
The 'Dave the Milkman Big Band' will be in the Czech Republic from 22nd-26 August and back in England 'pretty quickly' afterwards.....